TheBackwardsSpiral

A rather personal look into me, myself, and my figure. A following of the creation and reconstruction of my body. A diet log and the rest of the shit that goes on in my head.

Is it self-improvement or self-destruction? You could ask me or a shrink and get two different answers; but, ultimately, only time will tell.
~ Saturday, April 6 ~
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the look on their faces though. its like “omg, charles. charles, charles. THE HUMAN IS WAVING. WAVE BACK, HURRY.”

This is the best thing I have ever seen

BEARS

reblogging again because I cannot freaking contain myself so cute


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reblogged via fabricfoxholes
~ Tuesday, April 2 ~
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tanyafitness:

I wanted to do this comparison so you guys could see the changes my body has gone through the last year ✨ Starting at the top left is me in February, at 142lbs when I would jog around the neighborhood or the treadmill for 30min like 3/4 times a week ✨ Top right is me in October, at 146lbs I had been weightlifting for 6mo now & trying to incorporate cleaneating permanently but I would still have my drinks & treats more than occasionally ✨ Bottom left is me in December, at 160lbs when I decided to do the competition & bulked for about a month to build some muscle ✨ Bottom right is me in March, at 137lbs about 2 weeks out from my 1st competition. I had been on a shred plan for 8weeks with my coach @tplack ✨Through his diet plans I was able to see how amazingly important it is to eat properly. The correct amount of protein with a balanced amount of clean carbs for a good source of energy. I’m not gonna lie I had several anxiety binge episodes & it really hard for me to keep a straight head. I was stressed, I was moody & I questioned what I was doing. 😖 But after a couple of weeks at the end of my prep I finally started to enjoy the process, the suffering & the sacrifices because I realized that everything I was doing would be worth it. Yes it is hard, very hard. But that doesnt mean you arent capable of doing it. You just have to put your mind in the right place first, & remind yourself constantly of why youre doing this. When you achieve such a thing you learn & grow, & that is the biggest price after all 🏆 Yes, the good looks comes with it, but the confidence is build from within, from discovering your capabilities. 🙆 You are STRONG 💪 and you can over pass ANY obstacle if you put the EFFORT & your ❤. Stop wishing, whining & complaining & start doing! 👊 #makeithappen #teamFidelis #fitness #motivation #motivationmonday #tanyafitness #beforeandafter #girlswithmuscle #bikinicompetitor #fitfam

tanyafitness:

I wanted to do this comparison so you guys could see the changes my body has gone through the last year ✨ Starting at the top left is me in February, at 142lbs when I would jog around the neighborhood or the treadmill for 30min like 3/4 times a week ✨ Top right is me in October, at 146lbs I had been weightlifting for 6mo now & trying to incorporate cleaneating permanently but I would still have my drinks & treats more than occasionally ✨ Bottom left is me in December, at 160lbs when I decided to do the competition & bulked for about a month to build some muscle ✨ Bottom right is me in March, at 137lbs about 2 weeks out from my 1st competition. I had been on a shred plan for 8weeks with my coach @tplack ✨Through his diet plans I was able to see how amazingly important it is to eat properly. The correct amount of protein with a balanced amount of clean carbs for a good source of energy. I’m not gonna lie I had several anxiety binge episodes & it really hard for me to keep a straight head. I was stressed, I was moody & I questioned what I was doing. 😖 But after a couple of weeks at the end of my prep I finally started to enjoy the process, the suffering & the sacrifices because I realized that everything I was doing would be worth it. Yes it is hard, very hard. But that doesnt mean you arent capable of doing it. You just have to put your mind in the right place first, & remind yourself constantly of why youre doing this. When you achieve such a thing you learn & grow, & that is the biggest price after all 🏆 Yes, the good looks comes with it, but the confidence is build from within, from discovering your capabilities. 🙆 You are STRONG 💪 and you can over pass ANY obstacle if you put the EFFORT & your ❤. Stop wishing, whining & complaining & start doing! 👊 #makeithappen #teamFidelis #fitness #motivation #motivationmonday #tanyafitness #beforeandafter #girlswithmuscle #bikinicompetitor #fitfam


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~ Thursday, March 14 ~
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frutinimotivational:

breakfast-at—tiffanyss:

Omg peanut butter ponds. Take me there!! Also, we need morning yoga classes ;)

(Source: oldashcale)


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~ Sunday, March 10 ~
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(Source: topfilmgifs)


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~ Friday, July 13 ~
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Eating Disorder Problems

21st birthday party… doesn’t drink. Too many calories.

Tags: skinny thinspo problems ana mia ed ednos
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Tags: weight loss motivation thinspo
1,339 notes
reblogged via beauty-istheeyeofthebeholder
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Eating Disorder Problems

Goes to the gym… passes out before workout is finished.

Tags: thinspo skinny problems ana mia ed ednos
2 notes
~ Friday, May 4 ~
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I have always wanted to look like this in a sweatshirt.

I have always wanted to look like this in a sweatshirt.

Tags: thinspo
70 notes
reblogged via thinspirationforthebeautiful
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Tags: depression personal
540 notes
reblogged via gifmovie
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let me fill you in…

countrygirlgonewild:

when people ask me how many people I graduated, I always give them the same answer, 34. 

I then get one of the following questions…

“did you go to a private school?”

“you’re kidding, right?”

“no really, how many people?”


then I hear…

“I graduated with 150, we had such a small class”

“I graduated with 1,000, graduation was in a stadium and took two hours!”

oh really? mine was on the front lawn of my school and took half an hour.

Have had that same conversation soooo many times. Graduating class of 32,  baby.

Tags: school convo me personal
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reblogged via countrygirlgonewild
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d’aw. 

d’aw. 


24 notes
reblogged via matmouse
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Tags: sexy fitspo thinspo health diet exercise
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reblogged via gladiatorgirls
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Celebrating progress.

So basically, in the last couple days, my macros got ALLL messed up, but my calories actually stayed within budget; so that’s pretty cool.

Basically, due to my family-life-situation I had three birthday dinners. First night with my mom - she home cooked stuff, all of which was highly acceptable food-material, and she made a frozen yogurt cake for me because she knew I wouldn’t eat real cake. So, I had more for dinner; but it was all pretty healthy so I was in at 1800 - which is my budget, so yay!

Next night, actual birthday night, I went to a reallllly fancy restaurant with my Dad. He got us a seven course meal (which was amazing amazing amazing, I love fine dining) and each course was paired with a different wine. As you can imagine, I was kinda freaking out, so I had like… an apple and some cheese the whole rest of the day. But the thing was, I was pretty easily able to estimate the calories in each course because the waiter explained EVERYTHING on the plate. Everything. In detail.

So with the help of livestrong.com I figure I came in like 140 calories over budget on the 2nd.

Deffos acceptable, especially given the awesome of the dinner!

Yesterday night, my sister and I chilled and watched some movies and had icecream and cookies. There’s no way that was healthy at all, but I managed it in moderation and I’ll just eat like 100% protein today, so it won’t be a problem!

So there you go, its possible to have a good time and stay within budget diet. Just don’t screw up your macros this much, this many days in a row, every week. That would be counter productive.

Tags: fitspo health healthy diet exercise me personal
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Tags: truth diet exercise fitspo thinspo
387 notes
reblogged via doingwhatiwantsuckaz